Q & A

If I love someone, what’s wrong with expressing that love through sexual intimacy, regardless of being married to them or not?

The Bible says decisions whether to have sex before marriage and when to have sex in marriage are not based upon how you feel; don’t make decisions based upon your emotions, and never underestimate the power of feelings. There are feelings that are misplaced and there are feelings that are misinterpreted. Misplaced feelings are giving God-ordained passions the wrong assignment. Sexual addiction, pornography and homosexual practice are misplaced feelings. Heterosexual singles struggle against premarital sex and heterosexual marrieds struggle against extramarital sex. Heterosexuals and homosexuals must join in the same struggle to reserve sex until marriage with someone of the opposite sex and then remain in a committed relationship with that one person till death do us part.

So misplaced feelings are giving your God-ordained passions the wrong assignment. Misinterpreted feelings are when you let your body rule without checking with your head and it stems from a faulty definition of love. Somebody said love is a feeling you feel when you feel that you’re going to get a feeling that you never felt before. That’s basing love on feelings. But it’s not about feelings, it’s about faith. It’s not about the heart, it’s about the head. It’s not about passion, it’s about principle. It’s not about emotion, it’s about devotion. It’s not about contentment, it’s about commitment. It’s not about happiness, it’s about holiness. And it’s not about Hollywood, it’s about the Holy Word. (Jeffrey O. Brown, “What’s Love Got to Do with It?” p. 31.)

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