Loving With a Heart Like Jesus
Twelve pairs of dusty feet stood awkwardly on the wood floor of the upper room. The table was set, the food was ready, water had been carried from the well, and clean linen towels had been folded neatly on a bench. But someone was missing. Eyes avoided contact, elbows nudged, someone coughed nervously. But no one wanted to do the work of a servant. No one was willing to kneel at the feet of his friends. No one was humble enough to wash away the dirt from two dozen dusty feet.
They all stood proud and tall–except Jesus, who quietly picked up a towel, poured the water, and knelt on the ground to show His love. For three long years He’d shown them that true love kneels to serve and is willing to make sacrifices. For three long years He’d shown them that true love puts others first. But they still didn’t understand.
Years later, Paul wanted to help Christians love each other with a heart like Jesus. So, he shared what he’d learned about love in a letter to the Romans. His practical ideas for healthy relationships are as relevant today as they were two thousand years ago.
LOVING DEEPLY AND PURELY
Jesus’ love for us is deep and pure. In its depth He is totally forgiving, and in its purity, He leaves no room for anyone to doubt His love.
LOOKING FOR THE DIAMONDS
Make a list of your partner’s special gifts, qualities, and strengths. Write down as many as you can and add more when you notice them. When we focus on positive qualities, we help each other to blossom and grow.
BEING AFFECTIONATE
Love needs to be expressed in warm words, eye contact, smiles, gentle touching, time together, thoughtful gifts, or helpful support. Different cultures and families express affection differently, but the important thing is to love others the way they like to be loved, not just the way we want to love them.
CONNECTING EMOTIONALLY
Jesus was happy with his friends when they were happy, and sad when they were sad. When something amazing happens to your husband or wife, celebrate together! And when your spouse is sad, just sit and be sad together. When our partners don’t share in our sadness or joy, we can feel very alone. But when we share in each other’s emotions, we strengthen the love-bond between us.
CONNECTING YOUR PARTNER
When Jesus met people who felt downtrodden and rejected, He lifted them up and showed them how valuable they were to Him. Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect. When we place our spouses a little higher than ourselves, we’re both lifted up. When we look down on our spouses and act superior in some way, we’re both dragged down. See your partner as a unique and amazing creation that God has made just for you. Honor your spouse as the king or queen of your home. Discover what makes your spouse especially happy, do it for them, and watch what happens to your own joy.
HUMBLY HOSPITABLE
When Jesus knelt down to wash His disciples’ feet, He wasn’t only being humble but also hospitable. Hospitality is doing whatever it takes to make someone feel comfortable, welcome, and special. It’s pouring a glass of water for your spouse on a hot day, setting the table attractively, turning the heated blanket on to warm their side of the bed, or doing anything else to touch their heart with a smile.
LIVING PEACEFULLY
Loving like Jesus means creating a peaceful atmosphere where people feel safe, forgiven, accepted, and heard. It means going the extra mile to make sure conflicts are resolved by listening to the other person’s concerns and by exploring their ideas for a win-win outcome. It also means letting go of your desire to win the argument, to get your own way, or to have more power than the other person.
DEVOTION–LISTENING TO THE HEART
Jesus listened to the heart. He wanted to hear the real needs in people’s lives. When your partner is hurt, tried, angry, disappointed, afraid, or sad, respond to their unspoken needs rather than reacting to their frustrated words. See the difference it makes!
DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES
When we love with a heart like Jesus, we do whatever it takes to show the other person how much we love them. Jesus laid down His life for us so that we’d never have to doubt His love for us.
SPENDING TIME WITH JESUS
To love like Jesus, we need to spend time with Him studying and praying, learning about His love, and listening to His heart for our partners and for us. This is how we are transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1,2).
HERE ARE 30 EXTREMELY SERIOUS QUESTIONS TO ASK ABOUT THE HEALTH OF YOUR FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS:
—By Karen Holford, Director, Family Ministries, Trans-European Division
First published in The Journal, Second Quarter, 2015, Ministerial Spouses Association, General Conference Ministerial Association. Used with permission.
Images: AI-generated, Freepik